The narrative continues

Emotions are high as a result of the Martin ruling. I cannot say I am surprised, however I don't want that to excuse how very angry I feel. Their are so many things I can respond too, the fact that people pretend that race relations in this country are good, when statistics surrounding everything from wealth, incarceration practices, hiring practices, stop and frisk practices etc,  affect Black and Brown negatively at disproportionate levels. The issue is that people don't care about facts, people don't want to see the big picture. We only care about how we feel and surround ourselves with people who affirm our fears.

I have read  so many peoples response, and though I am touched by how many people support Trayvon and his family and their black friends who are hurting right now, I have also seen quite a bit of ugliness and apathy. Numerous tweets reducing Trayvon Martin to a deserving "nigger." Posts from well intentioned people saying that the justice system did what it was designed to do, failing to realize that the system was designed to be racist (amongst other things), and continues to be. It is scary at how racially polarizing the case has made things, and in my research most of the discourse reflects Black people irritated at the racist system, while White people who have aligned to a negative racial narrative, convey a sentiment that attack Black people and their feelings as merely irrational and a disengagement of the facts. It does not seem to me that race isn't beginning to not matter, I'm not seeing this post racial America, I'm not seeing this "better" my generation talks about.

Many of my more godly friends have released beautiful responses to the case. Calling for support for the Martin and Zimmerman families because as humans they are deserving of dignity. In theory I absolutely agree, but I am not there yet. Though I do not wish harm to come to Zimmerman, I do not wish him well. I don't want him to have a life filled with happiness, especially as long as he is unrepentant. I want to say that I feel love for him, but I do not. This case was more than Trayvon and Zimmerman, it was a glimmer of hope that the narrative wouldn't continue.

In my short life and within range of my lifetime, many things have transpired that continued the narrative. The response to the O.J. Simpson which was highly racially polarized. The Rodney King beating which ultimately led to the rather destructive Los Angeles Riots. The James Byrd Jr. incident in Texas, where a black man war chained to the back of a truck and dragged and decapitated (1998). The Michael Donald lynching in Alabama (1981). The racially motivated killings of Michael Griffith, Willie Turks, and Yusuf Hawkins in New York in the 80's. The Amadou Diallo shooting in 1999. The Jena Six. Recently Jordan Davis whose case is a lot like Trayvon Martin's(2012) etc. These stories and many others have continued the narrative. I fear sometimes for my life, I fear for other black boy's lives, because they are often being targeted for nothing more than active pigmentation.

Right now I don't have very much hope. I am just waiting for the day where the narrative stops, the book is finished, closed, shelved with honor, but is nothing more than a resource.